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Post Info TOPIC: Motor bike or Girlfriend?


Super Guru

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Motor bike or Girlfriend?
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Here are a few Motor Bike related truths (Substitute TTR for Motor Bike if you want to) :-

·        If you say bad things to your Motor Bike you don't have to apologise to it before you ride again.

·        If your Motor Bike doesn't look too good you can paint it or get new parts.

·        If your Motor Bike goes flat you can fix it.

·        If your Motor Bike is mis-aligned you don't have to discuss politics with it.

·        If your Motor Bike is too loose you can tighten it.

·        Motor Bikes don't care how many other Motor Bikes you've ridden.

·        Motor Bikes don't care if you are late.

·        Motor Bikes don't care if you buy Motor Bike magazines.

·        Motor Bikes don't care if you look at other Motor Bikes.

·        Motor Bikes don't criticise you if you are a hopeless rider.

·        Motor Bikes don't get headaches.

·        Motor Bikes don't get pregnant.

·        Motor Bikes don't have parents.

·        Motor Bikes don't mind how many other Motor Bikes you have.

·        Motor Bikes don't whine - unless something is really wrong.

·        The only protection you have to wear when riding a Motor Bike is a decent crash helmet.

·        When riding both you and your Motor Bike arrive at the same time.

·        You can boast in mixed company what a great ride you had the last time you were on your Motor Bike.

·        You can ride a Motor Bike the first time you meet it and you don't have to take it to dinner first.

·        You can ride Motor Bikes at any time of the month.

·        You can ride other friends' Motor Bikes and still stay friends.

·        You can ride your Motor Bike for as long as you like and it won't get sore.

·        You can share a Motor Bike with friends.

·        You can stop riding your Motor Bike as soon as you like and it won't get frustrated.

·        You don't have to take a shower before you ride your Motor Bike.

·        You'll never hear "Surprise - you're going to have a new little Motor Bike", unless you go out and buy one yourself.

·        Your Mother won't stay in touch with your old Motor Bike after you dump it.

·        Your Motor Bike never wants a night out with other Motor Bikes.

                               biggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrin

Martyn



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Budleigh Salterton. Devon



Senior Member

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You can lock your motorbike in the shed for 3 months and it will still be up for a ride.


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Motor bikes don't care if you forget their birthday.


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Guru

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Motor bikes don't care if you ride another

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TT-R250 & WR250R for dirty fun

Triumph Thruxton for the twisties

Triumph Scrambler for fun

 YOUTUBE channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPSstOEnd2NSu0Va6kt2ySg



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My wife even laughed.

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Super Guru

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Men Are Just Happier People!

 

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.  Chocolate is just another snack.  You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character.  Wedding dress - £3,000. Tux rental - £75. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is £8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes - one colour for all seasons.   You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.   You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache... You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

  No wonder men are happier!

 

  NICKNAMES

  ·   If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

·   If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

 

  EATING OUT

  ·   When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

  When the girls get their bill, outcome the pocket calculators.

 

  MONEY

  ·   A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.

·   A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

 

  BATHROOMS

  ·   A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

·   The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

 

  ARGUMENTS

  ·   A woman has the last word in any argument.

·   Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 

  FUTURE

  ·   A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

·   A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

 

  MARRIAGE

  ·   A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

·   A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

 

DRESSING UP

  ·   A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

·   A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

 

  NATURAL

  ·   Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

·   Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

 

  OFFSPRING

  ·   Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

·   A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

 

  THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

  A married man should forget his mistakes.  There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!



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Exeter, Devon, UK

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Guru

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So true Brian

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TT-R250 & WR250R for dirty fun

Triumph Thruxton for the twisties

Triumph Scrambler for fun

 YOUTUBE channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPSstOEnd2NSu0Va6kt2ySg



Super Guru

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Brian, they're all true, believe me - I know. smile

Martyn



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You're never too old to learn something stupid

Budleigh Salterton. Devon

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